If Only
by Mizashi Haruka
Summary: "If only you loved me like I loved you, but alas... We were not meant to be.." Warning: Depression, suicide, possible mistakes. Rated T for safety.


**Hello everyone. I'm kinda away from my computer for sometime so I don't have my documents. Until I return home, I'll be posting one-shots and drabbles. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inazuma Eleven Go! I only own Mizashi Haruka. **

**Let the show begin!**

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Haruka x Shindou

If only...

It was dark. Darker than any other night was. I was cold. For the second time in my life, I felt truly sad. My eyes were looking from one direction to another, desperately trying to see you. You were the light of my life, but now you are not there. You promised to stay with me forever, but you broke your promise.

My heart aches when I think of you, remembering how you would embrace me when I was cold. My eyes tear up at the memory of your voice, calling my name. The hot tears fall down my face, but your hand is not there to wipe them. In my hand was the silver bracelet you gave me on ny birthday, when you kissed me for the last time.

I curl up in the corner of the room, thinking of the warmth of your embrace. The cold wind blows through the open window. I glance at your picture in my hands. It brings nothing but tears. Seeing your smile, your eyes, your face. Moments that I will never experience again.

I feel my chest tightening with pain, but it's not as painful as losing you. You walked out of my life forever. My mind knew I could do nothing to bring you back, but my heart just couldn't bear with the fact you were gone. The storm inside my heart was increasing, but I couldn't put it down. I wanted to scream my feelings out, but I was too broken to even whisper.

But I'm not worried. For I was going to leave soon. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't live without you. You were my light. You were my hope. The first person to show me the meaning of true love. I needed to be with you. I glance at my wrist and smile weakly. I fail to hear the knocking on the door, which is opened a few seconds later. My blurry vision fails to recognize the person holding me, whispering for me not to leave. But he was late.

_You _were late.

I have made up my mind. I won't live to see you with another person. My heart will not be able to live with that. If I stay, I'll just be an obstacle in your way. Please don't be angry with me. And don't cry after I leave. It's for the best. Crying over someone like me won't do you any good. I reach out to caress your face for the last time. My hand feels cold against your warm skin. I could see the tears in your eyes, falling down your beautiful face slowly.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for making you sad like this. I'm sorry for making you cry over me. I'm sorry for being so selfish. I'm sorry for not realizing your true feelings for me. That I was just a friend. You knew we didn't belong together, yet you accepted my offer. I forced you to love me in a way you didn't. I'm sorry.

Tell my friends not to be sad. I'm going to my eternal rest. Maybe we would meet again in the afterlife. I hope I would see you happy again. And until that time, the world has to go on without me. I'm going to miss you a lot, but there is no turning back now.

Slowly, darkness takes over my vision. My body feels gets colder and weaker. You tighten your embrace and cry harder, but alas... Your tears won't bring me back. Before you knew it, I was dead in your arms.

If only I wasn't so selfish, you wouldn't have been crying your eyes out, desperately trying to wake up a person who will sleep for eternity. But it is useless.

If only I had more knowledge, I would have avoided all these mistakes in the first place. But a mere creature cannot read the future.

If only fate was on my side, you and I would have been playing together now, but fate cannot be changed by a simple wish.

_If only you loved me like I loved you, but alas... we were not meant to be._

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**Gah! This was not supposed to be like this. Unless it made you cry. If it did, then my misdion is accomplished successfully. **

**If this thing had a lot of depression, I'm really sorry about that. I was depressed and I needed to cry over something. T_T**

**Anyway, please leave a review with your thoughts. I really hope you liked it. Also, flames are welcome. I won't be sad with them ^_^**

**Ja ne, minna.**

**Haru-chan :)**


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